Trusting your own instinct. It’s something easier said than done and I found myself challenged with this concept on several occasions in the past few weeks.
Rather than having “gut instincts” or the uncanny ability to make the right decision, I typically find myself second-guessing each and every thought and, if forced to make one quickly, usually pick the wrong one. Recently I found myself in the position of sampling and testing many teas for potentially selecting and selling in the future. It’s been during this process that I have really found myself second-guessing my ideas on tea.
Initially, after receiving the samples, I sat myself down with a pen and paper and began taking notes on the dry leaf and wet leaf aroma and really taking time to assess the developing flavor profiles. I started to find, however, that one day I would find a tea simple and flat and another day, exciting and delicately nuanced.
It was around this same time that, after months of job hunting, I finally ended up with a job offer, which I excitedly verbally accepted…only to get another offer a few days later from another company that I had interviewed with months ago and honestly hadn’t expected to hear from. Long story short, both jobs had pros and cons and I spent the next few days drinking tea and coming up with lists, agonizing as I tried to make the best decision.
Just as with the tea, I found myself questioning each determination, going around in circles in my mind and totally locked in indecision and uncertainty as I pressured myself to make the right choice.
Eventually, a friend who had very patiently been listening to me repetitively go on anxious tangents about which job to take turned to me and said, “Just listen to your heart.” I initially scoffed at what she said because this was a serious decision- one that should be made from facts, not emotion and a cheesy tagline wasn’t going to cut it.
Later that day, as I sat down to relax and reflect with some tea (or at least attempted to), I was reminded of the qi and the importance of how it made me feel. I realized she was right. I could labor forever about which job might be better in the short term or long term, which benefits might slightly outweigh the other benefits -or might not, depending on how I looked at it- but in my heart I knew which job I wanted. It was the same with the tea- I knew which ones I was interested in based on how they made me feel. The changing notes were more a reflection of my inner turmoil and I just had to have the confidence to make my decisions official.
Fast forward to today: I’ll be starting my new job tomorrow and so I’m excited but also a bit anxious, as it’s a new field for me to be starting in. I spent a part of the day packing up some tea essentials for the office and prepping everything else I might need, so for better or worse, I’ll have some good tea to keep me calm!
With regards to the teas I was sampling, you’ll hopefully be seeing some of them available with more details in the coming months!